World Cup 2014: More Than Just a Leg Show

My father used to have a great expression. When he couldn’t see the point of an event or performance, and thought it was pretending to be something it was not, he would call it a “leg show.” In other words, just a bunch of people showing off their physical attributes.

In some ways, if you are not a serious football fan (and if you follow social media) you might be forgiven for thinking that World Cup 2014 is, indeed, a mere “leg show.” I, for one, have always been very much focused on footballers’ legs. After all, what would they do without those lovely, finely muscled… Oops. I’ve gone a bit too far there and don’t want to be accused of being sexist. But I laughed out loud when a lightly injured Algerian player lifted his leg while being helped into a stretcher. “THIGHHHH!” cried one of my female Twitter friends, right on cue.

You can stop here, if you like, as this blog post may go downhill a bit from now on. The Twittersphere, in particular, has been a delight throughout the hotly-contested tournament in Brazil, so far. Some of us have developed an obsession with beards, and tattoos. But it all started with Uruguay’s jerseys, which were – and still remain – much too tight. The pale blue jerseys even inspired an Egyptian activist writer whom I much admire and follow on Twitter (sadly, she’s a Manchester United fan but I might forgive her!), to write this article: http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118177/world-cup-2014-costa-rica-vs-uruguay-reaction.

Edinson Cavani, Diego Forlan and team mates sing the national anthem with constricted breath due to tight jerseys. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

Indeed, Uruguay did have a lot going for them, at the beginning of the contest. The jerseys, Diego Forlan’s pale blond tresses and Edinson Cavani’s sculptured features were just some of the pluses. This week, however, in the curious way that sports has, everything unraveled, suddenly.

The referee didn’t seem too impressed by the bite mark. And Luis Suarez seemed to be blaming Giorgio Chiellini’s shoulder for getting in the way.

This was largely due to a dental incident. Yes, I am sure you have heard about it. The unfortunate (and incredibly brilliant) Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez lost control of his incisors (and not for the first time) and bit an Italian opponent. His front teeth are, indeed, very large, but no – they don’t operate independently. Bizarrely, after the incident Mr. Suarez sat down, holding onto his teeth (perhaps trying to indicate that the teeth were the injured ones). Problem is, as we know, this wasn’t the first time. Mr. Suarez (who got off relatively lightly in my view, with a nine-match ban) is on his way home now; he was photographed today walking under a sign that said sadly “Exit.”

Giorgio Chiellini eventually saw the funny side, when a maid at his hotel took a bite. Perhaps he just tastes nice. (Photo: Mail UK)

Of course, the Twitter response was hilarious. It was noted that you were more likely to be bitten by Suarez than by a shark. Various photoshopped images flew around. I feel sad for him, and I do think he needs counseling. Also, we will miss his quick-witted goals.

A tourist jokes in front of an advertisement with a portrait of Luis Suarez at Copacabana beach (Photo: AFP)

By the way, did you know that Uruguay hosted the very first FIFA World Cup in 1930? There were only 13 teams. You might think the United States are wet-behind-the-ears newcomers to football (soccer) – but the U.S., Argentina, Uruguay and Yugoslavia reached the semi-finals that year. Uruguay beat Argentina in the finals. For a concise, lyrical, delightful World Cup history, do read Eduardo Galeano’s “El fútbol a sol y sombra” (Soccer in Sun and Shadow) – I wrote a review of it which you can read if you look in the lefthand sidebar of this blog.

Drogba and his beard.

Back to the beards. When the powerhouse from Côte d’Ivoire, Didier Drogba, arrived on the scene, we were all bowled over by his majestic beard. It looks perfect. In fact, so much so that a Twitter account was immediately forged, @Drogbasbeard. But the Ivorian beard has had some serious competition. 

Italy’s Andrea Pirlo sports a splendid beard, which enhances his lovely Italian face.

In the beard stakes, here are some of my personal favorites so far (and I am still assessing them, so give me a little more time):

Andrea Pirlo of Italy (who owns a vineyard, by the way); Cameroon goalie Charles Itandje – a beard with flair; Raul Meireles of Portugal, who has a 21st-century punk look, with tattoos and a mohawk too; and last but not least, another African goalie, Rais M’Bolhi of Algeria, has a beard to conjure with.

Portuguese player Raul Meireles during a training session in Campinas, Brazil, on June 18. He’s been setting the pace on the personal style front. (EPA/JOSE SENA GOULAO)

Of course, there is a significant group on Twitter who admire those tattoos that footballers love to adorn their bodies with (have you ever seen David Beckham’s? Wow). Top of the beard plus “ink” stakes has to be American goalkeeper Tim Howard. I have seen him almost every week keeping goal at Everton in the English Premier League, but somehow during the World Cup competition he has acquired greater stature. Yes, stature is the word. Some of us on Twitter were a little overwhelmed by a PETA campaign ad featuring Tim, causing some of us to question whether he was real. This, of course, sent us to dear old Google to do a little more Tim research, coming up with some more impressive photographs to prove that yes, his tattoos (and everything else) were indeed the real thing. Wow. And he has done some fantastic saves, too.

But, the World Cup really is more than my father’s proverbial leg show. I swear. There have been so many touching, funny, sad and odd little incidents. Many records have been broken, and many “firsts”: for example, today Algeria qualified for the final 16 for the first time, causing their fans to go completely insane in Brazil, Marseille and Algiers. Colombia’s goalkeeper, Faryd Mondragon, was the oldest player ever at the World Cup, at age 43. Yaya and Kolo Touré’s younger brother Ibrahim died of cancer, aged 28, on June 19. The Ivorian brothers’ grief was palpable. By contrast, Miguel Herrera, Mexico’s coach, has been keeping us all amused with his energy and enthusiasm for his young team. Sweating profusely, at times nearly bursting out of his shiny suit and gesticulating wildly, the chubby coach grabbed the celebrating players and wrestled them to the ground when they won, rolling around with them in sheer joy. He photo bombs his players regularly, making crazy faces. The famed Cristiano Ronaldo managed to score one goal before Portugal was eliminated, and changed his haircut regularly, his special brand of hair gel gleaming (and melting) in the Brazilian sun. And as anticipated, Brazil’s Neymar and Argentina’s Messi are competing – both charming and delightful players, both scoring goals.

A friend tweeted plaintively the other day, “Why is the World Cup only every four years? Why can’t it be more often?” 

An eccentric Brazilian fan sends up a prayer.

I know what she means. Perhaps because it is in Brazil, World Cup 2014 has a flavor all its own. And then there are the fans – crazy, beautiful, wild, in their insane costumes. They deserve a blog post all to themselves, and they shall get one.

PS I forget to mention. I have fallen in love, with an Argentine player called Ezequiel Lavezzi. A splendid name for a very handsome man. But I am keeping him to myself. Oh, OK then – go and look at my Facebook page, where my friends are all a-flutter. Viva Argentina!

You can check out my World Cup Pinterest board (271 pins and counting) here: 

#1 in the Beard and Tattoos stakes: Mr. Tim Howard, Everton FC and U.S. goalie. This was a photo campaign he did for PETA. As they say on Twitter: #nowords

http://www.pinterest.com/petchary/fifa-world-cup-2014/

Goalies seem to like beards – do they look more macho and intimidating, perhaps? Here is Rais.

 

Charles Itandje of Cameroon’s chin-hugging beard makes his face look longer, doesn’t it. Very nice.