Vegetable Matter

Our household is going green.

I write a lot about environmental issues, but it’s not quite that kind of green. Nor is it anything political! We are going green in the area of health and beauty. Dear Husband (DH) is instrumental in all of this, I might add.

A very fancy-looking green drink.
A very fancy-looking green drink.

Firstly, there is the Bullet. It’s a machine where you basically throw everything in, and it comes out as mush. It makes a lot of noise. Well, the Bullet now creates “Green Drinks.” Or rather, DH does, with much sound and fury, in the mornings. The ingredients are constantly changing – you never know quite what to expect, and DH does not reveal them all, nor the subtle balance of their measurements. When we first acquired a Bullet, he started off fairly conventionally – a sprig of curly kale here, a few cucumber slices there, and a few chunks of “American apple.” Now, his recipes are becoming rather more unpredictable. You might find a sprinkling of quinoa (which I had never even heard of until recently, but it is Western Hemisphere I understand), a drop of aloe vera juice (which is very strong) and a handful of walnuts, or coconut flakes. By the way, DH bought a packet of the latter recently that hailed all the way from Thailand. Don’t we  have coconuts? I could swear I saw some, the other day…

Anyway, it’s an adventure for the taste buds and generally invigorating. Try a Green Drink today.

Then, there is my hair. I have always dyed my hair (I was once fond of blue, pink and purple hues) – but over the years, it has been terribly abused by chemicals. It’s awfully dry and thin. So, I decided to try the natural way, and it has been fun so far. This stuff is called henna.  It’s a bush. Henna is the Arabic name for Lawsonia inermis, which grows in hot, dry conditions. There is a huge cultural tradition with henna painted on the hands and feet of course, right across India, North Africa and the Middle East. It’s been used as a hair dye for thousands of years, too.

Lawsonia inermis (henna plants) - photo by J.M.Garg
Lawsonia inermis (henna plants) – photo by J.M.Garg

So. First of all, you mix it up, like a recipe. We put brewed (not instant) coffee, olive oil and apple cider vinegar into our mix with the henna powder. If you want it redder, you can simply mix it up with raspberry tea or that delicious South African one, Rooibos. Isn’t that cute? But by the time DH has finished covering my hair with it, I look as if I have fallen headfirst into a vat of nasty green mud – or possibly something worse than mud. I then cover my messy-looking head up with a plastic cap and wrap it with two towels. My head becomes heavy, and warm. I also carry this strange musty smell around with me for a few hours, while the henna works on my hair. Then it’s time to wash it out, which takes a long time. The result is…interesting. I think I am now tending towards bronze, or rather a mixture of bronzes.

What COULD this vegetable matter be?
What COULD this vegetable matter be?

So much for our green adventures. The title of this post reminds me of a common phrase used by the Jamaica Constabulary Force when they catch someone in possession of “weed.” They always find a package containing “vegetable matter resembling ganja.” It always makes me chuckle. I wonder at what point they say to each other: “Hey! It actually IS ganja! Wow!”

Yes, vegetables matter. So get your green on – today.


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