Family Matters: Early Morning Thoughts

Rainy tropical dawn.

“Family isn’t something that’s supposed to be static, or set. People marry in, divorce out. They’re born, they die. It’s always evolving, turning into something else.” 

A popular writer for teens, Sarah Dessen, wrote this, and it is so true. I always wanted my family to stay the same; encapsulated in a kind of time warp. In particular, I wanted my parents to be immortal, eternally middle-aged. But of course, family members come and go; the family remains.

I woke before dawn this morning, thinking about our far-away family that is certainly evolving – the English side of it, that is. Just a few days ago, we had a birth in the family. Of course, like all babies, he is instantly adorable; babies are built that way. But he is special, because he is family. He is chunky – a robust nine pounds plus – with small, round fists, intense dark blue eyes and a delicately pursed mouth. A little pout, perhaps. 

And then, yesterday, I learnt that one of the oldest members of our small, but close family has died. The news arrived on my smartphone via Facebook. Yes, modern methods of communication – but transporting me instantly back to the old-fashioned London house where I spent a great deal of my early childhood. Low winter sunlight, dusty windowsills, the radio playing.

So I woke up before five in the morning, in the tropical city that is now my home. It is whispering quietly to itself. Soft rain dripping from the awnings after an overnight shower. The White-Winged Doves begin to call in the garden, gentle precursors to the daylight, but still in the dark. Daylight arrives swiftly and stealthily here; in the space of half an hour, we move from street lights to bright sunlight. This morning, though, is subdued and grey. I am watching the BBC News about the Crimea, where masked Russian soldiers stand with expressionless stares. You can only see their eyes and hands, and guns. In Kiev, the voices of men rise with the smoke in the square. It is as if the region is shuffling backwards, into its bitter history.

Brad Pitt has a big family. Having been entranced by his youthful beauty, I now admire his love of family. What he said once is so true, and it’s how I also feel:

A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss. But I’ll take it all.

The Brangelina tribe.