Sandy Between Our Toes
Jamaicans love their beaches. Like many human beings the world over, they love to do silly things like burying long-suffering friends up to their necks in sand; or running down into the sea carrying a kicking and screaming girl, and throwing her in. Jamaicans aren’t really big on sandcastles, though; I think the sand is too soft and fine. And then, of course, there was the sand that was stolen, by persons unknown, that was even featured in “Ripley’s Believe It or Not“ a few years ago. That is one of those mysteries wrapped in an enigma, as they say; although some people know the truth of it.
But at the moment, Jamaica is feeling Sandy all over. Yes, Tropical Storm-soon-to-be-Hurricane Sandy is churning its way to the south of the island. Ir’a making a bee-line for Jamaica. It’s getting late, and the rain that has pounded us steadily since morning has eased up, giving us a bit of a break before Sandy herself arrives. She is due to check in around midnight tonight, and will be fully ensconced on the island by midday tomorrow, we are told. There she is, with her sphere of influence clearly marked, in the National Hurricane Center‘s diagram below…
Now, this is the first storm that has threatened Jamaica seriously this year. It has been a quietish year for us, storm-wise. Many storms have wandered off northwards, where they generally fizzle out and “lose their tropical characteristics.” This basically means that they get a bit chilly as they wander off towards Newfoundland, and have to put on woolly jumpers over their bikinis (or “bath suits” as many Jamaicans call them). They just haven’t been able to get into the tropical, Caribbean thing. No pina coladas for the likes of Florence, Nadine, Michael, Chris… They were all up there drinking hot toddies, instead.

Hurricane Nadine wandered around for several weeks, making her the fifth-longest-lasting Atlantic storm since records began. She completely lost her way, poor thing. And she had been so looking forward to a Caribbean holiday…
It’s a funny thing with tropical storms. They bring about a wide range of emotions among Jamaicans; but there is no doubt they give many of us a little adrenalin boost. Yes, these male and female climatic disturbances add a little frisson of excitement to our humdrum lives. For a start, the schoolchildren like them; it means schools are closed (as they are tomorrow). Those who are lucky enough to be working are sent home early (as happened around lunchtime today). Those who can afford it rush off to the supermarkets to stock up with candles, kerosene oil, batteries, and tins of bully beef (corned beef, if you prefer).
Ah yes, the latter has become a traditional must-have when storm clouds gather. It doesn’t go off, so you can eat it when your fridge has warmed up during long power cuts. I must admit that, ever since the serious horror that was Hurricane Gilbert (1988) – a direct hit on Jamaica – I have been unable to stomach that slippery, salty chunk of meat that you prise out of the tin. We ate tons of it in 1988, with rice. It gives me a heavy feeling in my stomach just to think of it. Hurricane Gilbert was, among other things, a serious case of chronic indigestion for me.
At about two o’clock this afternoon the mood of uptown Kingston (and, I am sure, elsewhere) dramatically changed. It was as if everyone had got a shot in the arm. The traffic flying up and down our street steadily increased, developing into a kind of frantic cacophony. The tension was almost palpable. Even a police car wailed along in the pouring rain, amongst all the desperate uptowners who, freed from their workplaces, were racing up and down with checklists of things-to-do-before-the-hurricane-comes. Fill up the car with gas; buy supplies at the supermarket; buy supplies at the hardware store – there’s a little leak in the roof/window/door that needs fixing; check in with aged relatives who are fretting about howling winds tearing down their awnings; pick up happy little child from school (don’t forget); and most of all, make sure you don’t starve during the one or two days of the storm. Whatever that takes. So, of course, the supermarkets and the gas stations love tropical storms too. This year, they probably feel that Christmas has come early; a couple of chains tweeted that they are open to midnight tonight – presumably until they have nothing left to sell but expensive wines and obscure foreign foods.
There was actually a traffic jam outside our front gate for half an hour this afternoon – something that rarely, if ever happens. SUVs foaming at the mouth.
But not everyone gets into a spin about hurricanes. Other Jamaicans affect a nonchalant air. “Oh, it’s just a bit of rain,” they say. They make a big show out of not going to the supermarket, and don’t even bother listening to the radio bulletins that many of us listen to avidly, trying to read between the lines… (Is it going to turn away just a little, and miss us? If it does come, how strong are the winds going to be? How much more rain will we get? And so on). The nonchalant ones smile knowingly and adopt a know-it-all, slightly patronizing tone when commenting on the looming storm. Quite irritating, especially when they are proved right - it actually was just a bit of rain - and adopt an air of “I told you so.”
Others, of course, know everything there is to know about hurricanes. They will talk glibly with anyone who has half an hour to spare about “maximum sustained winds” and “wind shear” and the like. Yes, over the past ten years or so, many of us have become experts. Satellite imagery and projected paths are second nature to us now.
And of course, the media fraternity loves hurricanes. So much to say about them, over and over. We can never get enough hurricane preparedness tips, hurricane updates, and endless footage of inundated roads and houses perched on the edge of gullies. Worst of all, there are the tedious interviews with individuals among the herd of supermarket shoppers. When accosted by a journalist, they say riveting things like: “Well, I haven’t bought much” - camera zooms in on shopper’s trolley - “just a few necessary items…” Oof.
As for me, I happened to be in the beautiful Blue Mountains of Jamaica as Sandy started brewing. Mavis Bank in rural St. Andrew (about a 45-minute drive straight upwards from Kingston) is a magical place. Population about 2,000; elevation about 3,000 feet. Bamboos bow their heads on the hillsides; streams trickle under small bridges and sometimes across the road; pine trees march along the brow of the hills. White scarves of mist appear and disappear among the folds of the mountains. It is green; it is cool; the water tastes sweet; it is a different world altogether from the dusty city below. There is the Jablum coffee factory, which smells fragrant as you drive past. People call to each other across a valley, or from a steep slope, or from a river bed up to the roadside. Parrots and pigeons scurry over the treetops. It is beautiful.
Sadly, I did not stay longer than a day in this cool green world. As the weather appeared to deteriorate, I reluctantly left the mountains and returned to Kingston, just before the crazy uptowners were unleashed on the roads. I had planned to spend the week there, at a very interesting workshop organized by Our Tomorrows and attended by a small but enthusiastic group that included members from the Turks & Caicos Islands and Surinam.
You see, storms just don’t give me an enjoyable buzz, like the jolt of a good strong cup of coffee. For me, it’s like one cup of coffee too many. I get a little jittery. I become obsessed with every move that the storm makes. I peer out of the window at the sky. I listen to every weather bulletin until I am sick of hearing the same thing over and over. And then, there is a kind of weariness, similar to the feeling after a caffeine overdose has worn off. I become listless and watch boring television programs that I would not normally find interesting. And I don’t find them interesting. Tropical storms are a real downer.
And frankly, I don’t care for the name Sandy. No offense intended to all the very nice Sandys out there, but it conjures up a rather seedy image to me – go-go dancers or something. I do recall there was an English singer – tall and skinny – called Sandy Shaw. She sang covers of Burt Bacharach songs and didn’t wear shoes, for some reason (this was considered daring in conservative England in the sixties).
Much more amusingly, I also recall a different kind of Sandy, again from my teenage years in England. Two comedians (Hugh Paddick and Kenneth Williams) used to do a very camp radio sketch which included the catch phrase: “Hello, I’m Julian, and this is my friend Sandy.” They were gay interior decorators – at a time (the mid-sixties) when homosexuality was still illegal in England. Sandy would say things like, “Ooh, isn’t he bold?“ Marvelous stuff. You can even find it on YouTube.
Meanwhile… I am sitting down here in Kingston, somehow wishing that I was still back on that wet, dripping mountainside where the frogs cry at night and the minibuses blow their horns at every corner.
P.S. While writing this, another character has appeared on the scene - Tropical Storm Tony. But let’s not worry about him – he is, as they say, “no threat to land.”

Hugh Paddick and Kenneth Williams, or “Julian and Sandy.” They had their own language (“lallies” meaning “legs” for example).

The mists and rain came down lower this morning in Mavis Bank. They were making their point. Sandy was on her way.

Bully beef… the Jamaican icon of the hurricane season. No matter how appetizing they make it look on the label, after weeks of eating it every other day…

The cone of Sandy neatly incorporates our little island, surrounded with a red line – which means a Hurricane Warning.
Related articles
- Tropical storm warning in Jamaica ahead of Sandy (scnow.com)
- Tropical Storm Sandy approaches hurricane status (cbsnews.com)
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7678379.stm (Jamaica puzzled by theft of beach)
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_and_Sandy (Julian and Sandy)
- http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20120320/life/life1.html (A religious experience in Mavis Bank: Jamaica Gleaner)
- http://www.bluemountaincoffee.com/index.cfm?method=AboutUs.CoffeeFactory (Mavis Bank Coffee Factory)
Sunday Songs
This week’s post will be somewhat abbreviated. I am in study mode – I am taking the Diplôme d’Etudes en Langue Française Niveau B1 (DELF exam level B1) in French. I have been preparing at the Alliance Francaise de la Jamaique and would highly recommend their classes. The summer classes – focusing on conversational French – will start soon (see link below) so why don’t you get Frenchified, now! Anyway – exam on Tuesday morning and I am truly out of the habit of studying, revising etc. It is an effort; my attention span seems to have shortened considerably since my student days, which is worrying. Wish me luck!
I called this post “Sunday Songs” because for the entire week (and the previous one) much media and public attention has been focused on a song (or songs). What song are we singing now? Well, your guess is as good as mine. Confusion and contention surrounds the issue of the “Jamaica 50″ official song, intended to raise our spirits and uplift our hearts as we celebrate our half century of independence. The traditional media has been trying to interpret the back-tracking, denials, confirmations and the ultimately contradictory statements emanating from the halls of government. In the background, there has been a ever-louder chorus of disapproval, recrimination and regret in the social media and among local bloggers (see links below), on talk shows, letters to the editor, vox pops and other outlets. Wails of “Oh, why can’t we just all get along, forget the ‘cass-cass’ and enjoy the celebration?” have been barely heard above the rising tide of anger and disappointment. The Minister in charge, Culture Minister Lisa Hanna, knit her brows prettily and said she didn’t know what all the fuss was over the reported sidelining of an official song written by Mikey Bennett (which has some merit, and a more traditionally “Jamaican” feel to it). That was before more was revealed, online and elsewhere. It appeared, for example, that the “new” song – a highly polished, generic pop song performed by Orville “Shaggy” Burrell (a man not unconnected with the current political administration) – was also launched as the “official” song for Jamaica 50. The video, and the program inviting journalists to the launch, appear to confirm this. The Ministry initially tried to say that there are many and varied Jamaica 50 songs, and that various songs had been approved by the Jamaica 50 Secretariat. The Secretariat, headed by a marketing “whizz kid” called Robert Bryan, then denied that Shaggy’s little ditty was the official song, despite what seemed to be evidence to the contrary. Now it is said that the public may be able to vote for a song. Conversations on this topic tend to begin with, “But…” “No, but…” “Well, didn’t they…” and end with question marks.
So, the song celebrating the fiftieth year of our independence seems to be wallowing in a mire of utter confusion. One can use several phrases to describe this state of affairs. Fiasco. Debacle. Mess. Public relations disaster (yes, certainly). I would call it, to use a colorful English term, a right cock-up.
Songs of lamentation at the end of this article, as I had promised to do, every week, as a reminder of Jamaica’s affliction – a fever which never breaks, that of crime and violence.
Moving on, with a sigh…
The People’s National Party administration is again teetering on the edge of a “donation scandal,” this time related to funds that Mr. David Smith, the incarcerated head of the failed Ponzi scheme Olint, says he donated to the party (US$1 million). Let us not forget that Mr. Smith told lawyers that he also donated $2 million to the Jamaica Labour Party, whose representatives become very vague when questioned by journalists. The question is whether the funds should, or will be, returned, as the authorities in the Turks & Caicos Islands have requested. Smith is spending a few years in those islands before moving on for a considerably longer period to the U.S. prison system. The PNP’s chairman Mr. Robert Pickersgill said that there was “no moral obligation” for the PNP to repay the money (I think it is always unfortunate when a political party is linked with the word “moral” in the same headline). With the mood of the Jamaican people as it is, this was altogether a most ill-conceived remark. As one columnist observed caustically, “We allow our MPs and Cabinet ministers to wear the title “honourable” before their names.”
The week has passed very quickly, and I have been too busy to follow every detail in the news, so I will cut this short as my French books are beckoning me. However, I must note in passing that the following items washed over my head during the week:
- The Grade Six Achievement Test (GSAT) results came out, whereby Jamaican children make the rite of passage from primary to secondary school. There was the usual gnashing of teeth by those parents whose children had not done well enough to go to one of the “traditional high schools” deemed superior (most are in Kingston); and celebrations by those who did well. There were the pompous speeches (or hard-hitting speeches, if you prefer) by our loquacious Minister of Education Mr. Ronald Thwaites, who in time-honored socialist fashion likened the GSAT system to educational “apartheid.” He hit the Sunday Gleaner headlines today with another grand exhortation to poor-performing teachers…“Pack up and go!” My question, as always, to politicians who tell us (ad nauseam) what needs to be done and what the government would like to do is, “HOW?” followed by “WHEN?” Let us just see if there is any action to follow these many pleasing words (yes, I agree 100 per cent, Mr. Minister, but…)
- There was an embarrassing episode involving the Attorney General, who was apparently not aware of a legal opinion that had threatened to turn the entire pension reform process on its head. The opinion was withdrawn…
- There was another fashion show, or another beauty contest; or both, probably.
- A full-scale price war broke out between our two battling mobile phone providers – the dominant Digicel, and LIME – who fired the first salvo. The consumer has benefited greatly. Once again, all is vibrant and healthy in the telecoms sector, presided over by the highly focused Minister Phillip Paulwell (whom I seem to heap praises on every week).
- More good news! The Minister of Finance did some further back-pedaling and jiggling of numbers, and announced that General Consumption Tax would not be imposed on any books at all. Well done to the Book Industry Association of Jamaica, who once again successfully lobbied for the removal of taxes.
- The annual Kingston on the Edge (KOTE) urban arts festival kicked off in fine style on Friday night, and will continue throughout the week.
- The National Gallery of Jamaica (a must-visit for those in Kingston) opened its doors today with its refurbished gallery of the sculptures of Mallica “Kapo” Reynolds, and will be open once a month on Sundays from now on with special events.
- We had the pleasure of attending the opening night of a theater revival – a play called “Stanley, Fay Pularchie and P” written by Gloria Lannaman in the 1970s and set in 1938, the time of major labor unrest in colonial Jamaica. Congratulations to producers Pauline Stone Myrie and Marjorie Whylie (who acted in the original production), director D. Pablo Hoilett and the excellent cast. There are three performances per weekend at the cozy Theatre Place in New Kingston, until August 19, 2012. Lots of humor (I particularly enjoyed one scene in the back of a truck en route to the country); there is drama, and there is no happy ending, really. Great stuff!
In Memoriam
- Warren Gyles, 30, in Salt Marsh, Trelawny
- Shamone Henry, 26, in Golden Grove, St. Ann
- Joshman Douglas, in Golden Grove, St. Ann
- Tania Christie Lowe, 37, in Granville, St. James
- Rohan Simpson, 39, in August Town, St. Andrew
- Moses Francis in August Town, St. Andrew
- Two other men in August Town, St. Andrew (names not determined)
- Narval Powell, 16, in Christian Gardens, Portmore, St. Catherine
- Unidentified man, found in Penwood Road, Kingston 11
- Unidentified man killed by police in Temple Hall, St. Andrew
- Melanie Lindo Thompson, 43, Craig Head, Manchester
- Anita Watson, 73
- My Jamaican Caribbean Heritage and Music (rawmultimedia.wordpress.com)
- That Jamaica 50 song… (anniepaul.net)
- Our Jamaica 50 Song….What the Hell Is It? (newsandviewsbydjmillerja.wordpress.com)
- Lessons from the Jamaica 50 Song Fiasco (newsandviewsbydjmillerja.wordpress.com)
- http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/news/On-a-Mission-was-never-the-Jamaica-50-celebration-song–says-Secretariat (Jamaicaobserver.com)
- Celebrating Jamaica’s 50th Year of Independence (petchary.wordpress.com)
- http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20120624/lead/lead76.html: Grange wants Hanna to come clean (jamaica-gleaner.com)
- http://jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20120623/cleisure/cleisure2.html: Stop politicizing Independence (jamaica-gleaner.com)
- http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/columns/Wrong-jungle–Mr-Pickersgill_11772217: Wrong jungle, Mr. Pickersgill! (jamaicaobserver.com)
- http://alliancefrjm.org/: Alliance Française de la Jamaïque
- http://natgalja.org.jm/ioj_wp/: National Gallery of Jamaica
- http://www.kingstonontheedge.org/: Kingston on the Edge 2012
- http://susumba.com/theatre/news/gloria-lannamans-classic-stanley-fay-pularchie-and-p-returns-stage: susumba.com preview
- Sunday Swirl: June 3, 2012 (petchary.wordpress.com)
- The Sunday Stumble – premiere edition (petchary.wordpress.com)
- Royal Jamaica (theislandjournal.wordpress.com)
- Fifteen ways you know you are in Jamaica (petchary.wordpress.com)
- Ungrateful and Unreasonable : Jamaica’s Response To Digicel (theislandjournal.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Steam (petchary.wordpress.com
- Sunday Swirl: June 3, 2012 (petchary.wordpress.com)
- The Sunday Stumble – premiere edition (petchary.wordpress.com)
- Royal Jamaica (theislandjournal.wordpress.com)
- Fifteen ways you know you are in Jamaica (petchary.wordpress.com)
- Ungrateful and Unreasonable : Jamaica’s Response To Digicel (theislandjournal.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Steam (petchary.wordpress.com)
- Burning the Political Fires, a flint of Olint (theislandjournal.wordpress.com)






















